I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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