I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
