dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
