what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
