Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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