i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
