Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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