We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize