you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Another day, another engagement, another cat
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
