By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
