.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
