After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
