i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
