do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
