Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
false alarm. still invincible.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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