one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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