My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
