I wish I could punch you in the face.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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