Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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