No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
