At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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