Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
ttyl tear gas
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
