Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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