I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
