I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
