Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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