it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
