She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
