Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You may now shotgun with the bride
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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