I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
