dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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