I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
