he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
