i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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