I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
