Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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