yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
