I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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