i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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