I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
