quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my vagina is haunted
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
