I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize