she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
