Dual....:-)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
