He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
