I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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