Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize