No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
