I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
