i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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