Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
