it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I deserve this hangover.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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