youre lurking in front of me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
