he was CRYING into my vagina
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
