I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I came so hard my ears popped.
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