yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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