Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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