I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
