Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
