I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
