it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
