He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
