Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
